after spending excessive amounts of time on the computer when i really should have been doing history homework, i decided that i should probably get my booty (yes, i did just say "booty") up and do something productive with my life.
my internal magnetic force brought my feet into the kitchen. i was exactly opposed to this so i proceeded to open the fridge and look through its contents. i mentally noted how unusually clean it was and credited this phenomena to my cousins wedding which had taken place at my house last weekend. i then decided on strawberries. i selected the plumpest one and carried it over to the sink to wash it cause i dont want to die of e. colli unless the world was ending. i think id rather die from E. colli than fire.
as i was walking away something in my memory sent off distress signals that i shouldve noticed something and did not. so i turned and skipped over to the fridge to satisfy the little human voice inside of me that tells me when im being stupid.
upon opening the fridge i see a jar of Reddi Whip and im like "heck yeah, thank you voice. you rarely fail me" completely content with my life i returned to the sink to de-e-collify my strawberry. so i took off the green thing and was about to lather my strawberry in unneccesary amounts of reddi whip when i realized how cool it would be to inject my reddi whip into the strawberry. unfortunately my hand had switched to auto pilot and stuffed the strawberry in my mouth.
needless to say, this was life giving me something productive to do. i returned to the fridge and plucked not one but TWO strawberries from the bowl and turned on "eye of the tiger" because it is my determination song...i then got the narrowest sharpest knife i could fine and cut the heck off the top of my strawberry. my work was very precise might i add. i made a perfect circle and place the nozzle of the reddi whip directly into the hole (hehe) and pushed slightly. the strawberry began to swell with whipped cream and overflow into a cornicopia of awesomeness right onto my hand.
i didnt mind.i then proceeded to stuff the strawberry into my mouth. i soon realized how freakin amazing this concoction was and credited everything to Reddi Whip. think about it: everything is better with some type of whipped cream with it:
ice cream: so amazing its insane but even better with whipped topping. possible? yes.
babies: so much more enjoyable with whipped cream.
math homework: psh this stuff isnt friggin see through! spray a little whipped cream on your assignments and problems solved (pun intended)
jim carey: that dude could DEFINITELY make whipped cream funny.
and that is how strawberries and whipped cream brought me back to the computer for a grand total of 7 hours.
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