Aged to (im)perfection.

So i know that i usually wait months in between posts because thats the appropriate amount of time to let my mind-blowing thoughts sink in, but im just having so many thoughts lately that i have to write more. I think this is my way of getting things out in a calm, cool, and semi-collected fashion. also, i dont think ive had my emotional post for 2012 yet.

But yes, age.
Not like this is a sore subject with super deep emotional roots or anything like that.
HAHA.
it is. So buckle up, kids.

Age. ugh. When i started this blog i was 15 and always complaining about my age and what not. thats just what i do i guess. whyyyy??? because i dont feel like this dumb little number alotted to me has ever been appropriate.
My siblings have joked that ive always been, "13 going on 30." which means that my age tends to not really correlate with my actions. im different, people. why is that such as hard concept for everyone else in the world to grasp?

Question: how many 15 years olds do you know of that have owned and operated their own little photography and piano businesses and made BANK? or volunteered hours upon hours of time at local elementary schools? OR that knew what kind of loser boys to look out for cause she had already been emotionally and almost physically abused by one?
and tell me, public, do most 16 year olds work four jobs? do most of them have better relationships with their teachers than with their friends? do you know many that could stand DIRECTLY under the influence of eating disorders and depression and say, "im too good for that."
finally, how many 17 year olds sacrifice the few friends they do have and an amazing high school to go to college and get their life started early? (which believe it or not, is pretty frikin scary)Or have never done anything in their whole life that causes them to be emotionally and most importantly spiritually guilty?

(comic relief) so i have a proposition for the world:  For those of you slightly less experienced in divine wonders of climate in other states, there is this wonder called "real feel" temperature. Thats when it can be like 80 degrees but the wind or humidity causes it to really feel like its 90. (i have a point, stick with me.)

i think that we should enact "real feel" ages. this would be extremely beneficial in pretty much every aspect of human interaction ever. like if someone was 21 but their real feel age was 16, pretty sure people would think twice before selling that loser alcohol. who knows, this could save lives.
im guessing my real feel age would be 20.... anyways, no, im sure the general public would be opposed to this. im just saying, in my utopian society, we'd all have us some real feel ages.

basically? this all boils down to me being sick and tired of everyone judging me just because of the year i was born. i get it, people, i get that you experience things as you get older and that makes you more mature blah blah blah. k really? like what? having a real job? got it. getting your heart truly and completely broken and coming out of it stronger? ohhh been there. twice. so what? what is it that im just not quite good enough at that makes me less desireable than the 22 year old party girl college drop out?

i am a rubix cube of complexity, suckas. and i cannot stand being labeled and written off by a number.

k, thats it. im good for another year.

Its sad cause its true.

So bascially i get free soda at work, and i down that shiz like none other. Which puts me into a caffeine-induced haze and i dont actually get tired until ridiculous hours of the early morning. :(
but as i innocently did everything in the world besides sleep last night, i thought, "hey, jenna. its ok. just sleep in tomorrow! surely 4 nights of unhealthy amounts of insomnia will catch up with you, and your body will lead you into a glorious sleep-coma."

False!

HA. no such luck. i woke up at 6:30. apparently my brain had a lot of random and irrelevant things it needed to think about... on top of that, my sweet parents came in to say goodbye for the weekend and also to inform me that the power has been out all night so it'll be dark till the suns gets up. pretty normal news i guess. except my lack of sleep caused me to frantically lose all sense of rational thought. and i heard the following: " We're leaving you for a couple days... and you have no friends so you'll be home alone forever. have fun. also, the power is gone because the person thats lurking in the house has impeccable planning skills and he's probably going to kill you pretty soon after we leave. also, your birth was an accident. k bye."

For those of you who know me, know that I have a very complicated relationship with being home alone.
for a few hours? no problem. i love it. it gives me time to do weird jenna stuff like paint my nails and have wicked cool dance parties.
but 2 days? notsomuch.

especially because i have always been and will always be a giant pansy. and if my brain knows ill be alone for more than 5 hours, everything becomes a scene from a horror movie. and im constantly using my ficticious add-ons to create gruesome and gory possiblities for my inevitable demise.

                             normal humans see:

 

 

                                 jenna sees:

                           what normal humans do when theyre home alone:

what jenna does when shes home alone:

So bascially im over being here and doing nothing but pondering death and wanting sleep. i think ill be productive and run errands like a sexy-sophisticated grown-up. (see Blog from a year ago that i think is hilarious called: The day i decided to be a grown up)

toodles.