the great Gatsby is a dumb movie. Jay-Z didn't exist in the 20's. sorry.
the new flavor of monster, Ultra Red, is really good. I can literally feel my kidneys rejecting me. but I don't care. because its delicious.
the lost and found at a gas station is the most entertaining and worrisome thing in the world. several humans are driving around with dangerously exposed fuel tanks and bank accounts.
i probably shouldn't have access to free soda and candy. but on the bright side im pretty sure i invented the awesomest new drink flavors known to man. i invite you all to be on the lookout for "Dirty Dr. Lime-Nut Zero." it will be a thing.
this is the first time in my life im missing the pear trees in my backyard change colors. withdrawals.
the radio at work is stuck on an oldies station and everyday they play the same 13 songs. because only 13 songs stood the test of time, apparently.
so i know there are sacred things in the temple that people really aren't supposed to talk about...apparently the breakfast in the cafeteria is one of those things.. but i motion for that to be broadcasted far and wide. it is magical.
i asked my mom to send me any random food lying around the house, and the things she sent me made me homesick because i knew the exact location of every item. but also excited cause i got some of those super sweet fake Mormon potato pearl things and my roommates accept me now.
my sister is officially with son and i couldn't be more excited! literally. i have never been more happy for anything in my life, and that makes me feel terrible because there are 12 other children to whom i am an aunt and i wasn't nearly this excited for any of them to exist.
there's this part of a sidewalk down on like 400 north and it says "each day i miss you more" and it makes me sad everytime i see it and also i want desperately to know the story behind it. like when we die and all the sudden know the secrets to life, the mystery of Amelia Earhart, what Ultra Violet light looks like, and that piece of sidewalk's story are the things im looking forward to most.
when my phone was broken i used it as a pager, cause i could still hear when people called and texted i just couldn't do anything about it, and ive concluded that pagers must've really sucked.
alrighty. that is all.
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
Vicodin adventures
kidneys are like planets. you can't really see them, but you know that in order to keep life and certain systems in balance and what not, theyre necessary. The only reason anyone ever notices kidneys is when something is wrong with them. I guess all that ignoring really pissed mine off.
the last few nights have been horrible blurs of agonizing pain, no sleep and late night shows to keep my mind off hurting. my mother, for the second time in a row, discovered me at 4 in the morning writhing in pain. the glorious woman decided to give me some medicine. but not just any medicine. Vicodin.
my experiences with this drug pretty much stemmed from the tv drama House, in which the main character becomes severely addicted to said substance. let me just say...I get it, bro.
it all started with a dull tingling sensation in my left hand. upon inspection I learned that it was perfectly normal looking and went on with slowly sinking into a pain induced delirious stupor. but as the next few minutes went by, this sensation inched its way through the entire left side of my body- dripping into every crevice until it felt like I was growing clouds and baby laughter inside me. this distraction was, at the time, the most hauntingly beautiful thing i had ever felt.
I decided to share my experience with my mother. immediately upon speaking I realized that I was in no condition to do so. I don't remember much of what I said save a few choice sentences.
"moooooommm. stuff is weird."
"I am so...aware..of my skin... mom...I can feel it.."
"my hand is gonna fly off"
though the left side was feeling wonderful and shiny, my right side raged on. i don't know if any of you out there have felt an internal organ throb. like pulsating, pounding. it is really weird. and with every pulse it shoots pain into all corners of the body. by this point i had made my way into a bed instead of the living room floor. i laid on my right side in a desperate attempt for the sweet honey cloud- growing stuff to make its way to the pain. and it did. in short waves of relief starting in my legs and reaching up into my stomach. and i remember the last thing i felt before sleeping for the first time in 2 days was the last area of pain being smothered. and finally, since the beginning of the month i was completely free of this pain.
so all in all. this stuff rocks.
hopefully i can kick the rest of this infection in the face. got an ultrasound today- which is really a mysterious woman in a dark room rubbing you with gel- so we'll see whats up. Utah might have to be pushed back a little. :( pray for me people.
***and p.s., if this is Bradley, I still love you.***
the last few nights have been horrible blurs of agonizing pain, no sleep and late night shows to keep my mind off hurting. my mother, for the second time in a row, discovered me at 4 in the morning writhing in pain. the glorious woman decided to give me some medicine. but not just any medicine. Vicodin.
my experiences with this drug pretty much stemmed from the tv drama House, in which the main character becomes severely addicted to said substance. let me just say...I get it, bro.
it all started with a dull tingling sensation in my left hand. upon inspection I learned that it was perfectly normal looking and went on with slowly sinking into a pain induced delirious stupor. but as the next few minutes went by, this sensation inched its way through the entire left side of my body- dripping into every crevice until it felt like I was growing clouds and baby laughter inside me. this distraction was, at the time, the most hauntingly beautiful thing i had ever felt.
I decided to share my experience with my mother. immediately upon speaking I realized that I was in no condition to do so. I don't remember much of what I said save a few choice sentences.
"moooooommm. stuff is weird."
"I am so...aware..of my skin... mom...I can feel it.."
"my hand is gonna fly off"
though the left side was feeling wonderful and shiny, my right side raged on. i don't know if any of you out there have felt an internal organ throb. like pulsating, pounding. it is really weird. and with every pulse it shoots pain into all corners of the body. by this point i had made my way into a bed instead of the living room floor. i laid on my right side in a desperate attempt for the sweet honey cloud- growing stuff to make its way to the pain. and it did. in short waves of relief starting in my legs and reaching up into my stomach. and i remember the last thing i felt before sleeping for the first time in 2 days was the last area of pain being smothered. and finally, since the beginning of the month i was completely free of this pain.
so all in all. this stuff rocks.
hopefully i can kick the rest of this infection in the face. got an ultrasound today- which is really a mysterious woman in a dark room rubbing you with gel- so we'll see whats up. Utah might have to be pushed back a little. :( pray for me people.
***and p.s., if this is Bradley, I still love you.***
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Employment Enjoyment.
I've been jobless for 2 hours and I already don't have anything better to do.
Those of you who don't know, I have been employed by a local diner for about a year now. The beginning days were enjoyable- serving the local senior citizens, getting free diet coke, and growing accustomed to my coworkers. I knew my personality fit there perfectly from day one. and i honestly could say that i loved my job.
But as every good thing, the enjoyment wore off. This is not the first time ive experienced this decline. I call it "the death of employment enjoyment"
The death of employment enjoyment
stage one: Spoiled.
Stage one occurs when you've gotten used to the pros of your job. Free drinks, reasonable hours, overall pretty nice people, whatever the case. you get almost spoiled in that you don't even really notice or appreciate the cool stuff anymore. like a kid who's new toy just doesn't provide the same level of entertainment. but its not like your job sucks and you clock out with an overall good attitude.
Stage two: Suck.
This most often occurs after the first bad day or frustrating event. Or maybe even after several consecutive sucky days. Anyways the point is the attitude shift. For me, this was the stage in which my coworker(s) were the problem. working with middle aged, smoke infested, ex druggies baby mommas with nothing else to do but work. I started to get so sick of their bossy attitudes, taking their sucky tips out on me, and even accusing me of stealing their oh-so- sucky tips! That is literally just the cliff note version of it. (at my other job, waitressing at a senior citizen facility, this stage was when my residents started dying... that'll definitely put a damper on the day) But, There are still tolerable characteristics about working there, and by now you know your way around the place so it'd be even more frustrating to leave. but you dread going, you watch the clock, and you zombie your way through the day.
Stage three:
this is me. right now. and for the last like 3 months. oh holy crap this is a miserable stage. The things that anger me about my job literally have kept me up at night. i come home angry and stressed. How i wish i could sell out a terrible horrible person for all the crazy mean hypocritical things they do. like successfully cutting my hours in half even though she has no authority over me, or getting the boss/owner to dislike me cause GUESS WHAT? theyre friends. every single day was a constant battle to think of ways to not punch people in the face. And whispering comebacks to her under my breath and rude gestures behind her back. but not to her face cause she'd tattle like a 50 yr old child. and day dreaming about the last day, that you will finally leave with a bang. Make your mark. release the bottled emotion on your boss.
Shameful exit.
time ticks. Clock out. Tell your favorite customers goodbye. Fake a smile to the devil. and leave quietly. yeah things never work out the way your imaginary self plans them to. no revenge. no justice.
to say im disappointed in myself is only half true. Cause its not reaaalllly me to yell at someone or try to get them fired. even if they deserve it. but it is me to stand up for myself. even if im the only one who knows it...
so i stole some crackers.
HOO-RAH!
Those of you who don't know, I have been employed by a local diner for about a year now. The beginning days were enjoyable- serving the local senior citizens, getting free diet coke, and growing accustomed to my coworkers. I knew my personality fit there perfectly from day one. and i honestly could say that i loved my job.
But as every good thing, the enjoyment wore off. This is not the first time ive experienced this decline. I call it "the death of employment enjoyment"
The death of employment enjoyment
stage one: Spoiled.
Stage one occurs when you've gotten used to the pros of your job. Free drinks, reasonable hours, overall pretty nice people, whatever the case. you get almost spoiled in that you don't even really notice or appreciate the cool stuff anymore. like a kid who's new toy just doesn't provide the same level of entertainment. but its not like your job sucks and you clock out with an overall good attitude.
Stage two: Suck.
This most often occurs after the first bad day or frustrating event. Or maybe even after several consecutive sucky days. Anyways the point is the attitude shift. For me, this was the stage in which my coworker(s) were the problem. working with middle aged, smoke infested, ex druggies baby mommas with nothing else to do but work. I started to get so sick of their bossy attitudes, taking their sucky tips out on me, and even accusing me of stealing their oh-so- sucky tips! That is literally just the cliff note version of it. (at my other job, waitressing at a senior citizen facility, this stage was when my residents started dying... that'll definitely put a damper on the day) But, There are still tolerable characteristics about working there, and by now you know your way around the place so it'd be even more frustrating to leave. but you dread going, you watch the clock, and you zombie your way through the day.
Stage three:
this is me. right now. and for the last like 3 months. oh holy crap this is a miserable stage. The things that anger me about my job literally have kept me up at night. i come home angry and stressed. How i wish i could sell out a terrible horrible person for all the crazy mean hypocritical things they do. like successfully cutting my hours in half even though she has no authority over me, or getting the boss/owner to dislike me cause GUESS WHAT? theyre friends. every single day was a constant battle to think of ways to not punch people in the face. And whispering comebacks to her under my breath and rude gestures behind her back. but not to her face cause she'd tattle like a 50 yr old child. and day dreaming about the last day, that you will finally leave with a bang. Make your mark. release the bottled emotion on your boss.
Shameful exit.
time ticks. Clock out. Tell your favorite customers goodbye. Fake a smile to the devil. and leave quietly. yeah things never work out the way your imaginary self plans them to. no revenge. no justice.
to say im disappointed in myself is only half true. Cause its not reaaalllly me to yell at someone or try to get them fired. even if they deserve it. but it is me to stand up for myself. even if im the only one who knows it...
so i stole some crackers.
HOO-RAH!
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