this post is about birds. and it could possibly be really lame or really funny. so. consider yourself warned.

i've always been taunted by the powers of flight posessed by our fine winged friends. until this weekend.

 guys, birds are stupid.

let me back up.

friday morning was my first day of spring break. yay for spring. eggs hatching, trees blossoming, children laughing right? well, yes. those things happen. but also, nature decides to be on excessive doses of happy pills. every creature with vocal systems wants to proclaim very loudly that it is in fact spring and they are in fact awake. which is fine.. except at 7:00 in the morn.

Friday morning i woke up to loud chirping. i rubbed my tired, insomniatic eyes and sought out the source of previously mentioned noise. my window is located directly above my bed. this has not been a problem of significant disturbance until now. a plump sparrow had positioned its battle station inches from my head. it was chirping at it's reflection. it was strutting its feathers seductively and prouncing around like a boss. yes everyone, this sparrow was trying to mate with its reflection. (conceited? yes.)  the realization of the potential emotional and mental trauma that could be inflicted, raced through my head. i watched the bird in silent horror, drawing up a game plan.

my first action: chirp back. i tried to chirp in the tone that would give off the "not interested" impression. but this determined little soul of a bird would not back down from his happily ever after. i proceeded to tap, press my face against the glass, scream, and other things that would scare a usual bird. but no. i decided to give up and go about my daily activities.

hours later i returned. the sparrow was still trying faithfully to win his dream girl. as i sat watching, another sparrow, of a more in shape variety, flew into obese sparrow's territory. to my digust, it too was trying to win the reflection. obese sparrow got a little power hungry (get it? hungry...) and straight up ghetto stomped skinny sparrow into the roof. well tried.

this is the ONLY thing that still made me want to be a bird: epic mid-air battles. we've all seen them. we've all secretly wished we could have one.

i was enthrolled in the dramatic fight. i watched them chase eachother around my property, suddenly disappearing and reappearing behind trees and houses. and then... they were gone.

my life had turned meaningless. i was intensely bored. and depressed. i want my sparrow soap opera back. so what did i do??
i chirped.
yes, i took of the indentity of the hot reflected sparrow and chirped for my warriors to return.
but it did not happen. and i started to worry. i knew obese sparrow couldnt last much longer. so i decided to lure them back. but how? what do birds like? well there was an obvious and inconveinent lack of worms in my room so that was out of the question. but then, i realized: birds like to sing! so began playing my sparrow friends music to invite them to return and duke it out over my window.
i started out pretty strong. thinking that some pumpin rap would attract them.

but B.O.B did not work his magic. i thought that might be a little too intense so i took it down a notch. whenever im in a pissy mood, i turn on my man michael buble. i love me some michael buble.

unfortunately, his silky voice did not make my birds return. i was about  to give up. my resources were exhausted and i didnt know what to do.
then it came to me.

yes i began singing. after 3 mintues of me singing jack johnson, my obese sparrow came back! it looked triumphant and determined as ever. skinny sparrow has yet to show himself. i do not care to know what happened to him.

i think this is the universe telling me that me and jack johnson should record together.
but anyways obese sparrow has been there for two days now. hopefully he doesnt get too physical with his attempts to woo my window. i'll keep everyone posted.



word of the blog time!!! you thought i forgot didnt you??

todays word of the blog: "Salubrious" (sa-loo-bree-ussss) : giving health/ good for one's health.

- " Wathing sparrows fight over a window is significantly salubrious"