Once upon a time, Mother Nature decided she was really bored. She was getting tired of the same routine of changing the weather for amusement, and she thought it would be nice to ditch her maternal responsibilities and screw with some peoples lives. She called up her BFF Father Time and asked if he would join in. Homeboy was too, itching for excitement due to his boring tasks of making things older. so he willingly accepted. (Foreshadowing: Last time Father Time got bored, Benjamin Button was born. things are bound to go South)
they decided that their first target would be selected at random. They planned out a fool-proof scheme of selection. Momma Nature snatched up a map of the world from her ever plentiful collection and ripped it into pieces. She then caused the winds to carry it up into the sky. Father Time threw his really decked out pocketwatch and managed to randomly lasso one of the pieces. They shared a brief and totally awesome high five to celebrate their creativity. Sketched upon the miniscule shred of map, was the city of Bakersfield CA. Their stage had been set.
All that was left to do was select one single soul to torture. They had to choose fast because things were gettin kinda screwy with the world being ditched by Mother Nature and all. (Tsunami in Thailand) Mother Nature descended upon Bako and began searching for the victim. After many hours she decided that there was too many people so she plucked a tiny flower of death from her hair and threw it up into the air. Whoever it landed on would be the chosen one. (that was the day i got my first ulcer)
the person had been selected and after days of planning, the two parents of evilness and suckfestness came to their conclusion. Mother Nature contributed that the girl would fall in love (harsh). Then Father Time's input was that it would be right before he left for college (ergo the worst time possible) and that they would have to wait an obnoxiously long time to be together again.
Satisfied, they skipped of into the sunset to watch their plan take action.
and here i am.
No comments:
Post a Comment