i think i've figured life out.
HA! yeah right. jenna grace ricks will never figure life out. but a part of it has recently revealed its rearing ugly face. yes. that was a sentence with alot of r's. say it out loud. its sufficiently entertaining.
but, lets delve into my innermost thoughts. ready? ok.
so we start out as children, meandering through life, adhering to our responsibilites to grow teeth and walk and all that jazz. but as soon as the grand architect instills the ability to attain rational thought, life tells us its ok to tell children that there are super cool magical creatures that give us presents and candy but you cant see them ever because its the law of grownuphood. so we are subconciously incredibly envious of adults, who are in cahoots with the tooth fairy and santa and the easter bunny. this is when it all begins. we look forward to the day that we too will become BFF's with jolly old saint nick.
we get older. but now we've figured out that those things dont exist. so we look forward to the next age group. we are told that dating, driving and dressing ourselves is the shiz and that is the place to be age wise. but once we get there, we again are disappointed with the knowledge that driving gets old, dressing ourselves was riveting for the first 20 seconds until everyone else's clothes are better and dating is awesome until we fall too deep and get hurt. what do we do? our automatic programming makes us look up again to the age where we move out and fall in real love and can stay out passed 11:00. until living off top ramen gets dangerous to our health, our hearts are crushed into 7 million pieces and you have nothing to do after 11:00 besides study your butt off. and once we're married, kids take up all our time, and we sometimes wish we had no responsibility. it goes on and on.
this is what i call the viscious cycle of age and desire. and it is stupid. don't let it get you. because you'll find that being on your own means not having mom to make you dinner and make sure no one hurts you and driving is cool, but you secretly wish you can fit in your nephew's tonka truck. and being old means losing faith in the wonders of the unknown. and it all starts with the santa and the easter bunny.
you may be asking yourself a variety of questions at the moment.
1) why is jenna so friggin profound and amazing?
2) who does this chick think she is?
3) how does she know this?
4) can jenna read minds?
answer to all: yes. :P
hehe no. i just have a different perspective. i know things from talking to my siblings. who are, because of my parents poor planning, are at all these different levels of life. i think this is just my really long and complicated way to say, growing up sucks.
ohhh goodness. and the dumb thing about the vicious cycle of age and desire is that we all know we're in it. but we cant help looking into the future with an overwhelming desire to rock it. cycles are dumb. no one ever wins.
so i think im gonna take this mess called life slow. because i have divine knowledge suckas. and i know that when im 30, im gonna wish i was right here sitting on the couch with my parents, txting my first boyfriend and blogging about things i think i know stuff about.
word of the blog
Lachrymose- (lack-ri-moe-ssssssss)- sad, tearful.
upon realizing that her butt was too large to fit into the toy car, her mood turned extremely lachrymose.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
this post is about birds. and it could possibly be really lame or really funny. so. consider yourself warned.
i've always been taunted by the powers of flight posessed by our fine winged friends. until this weekend.
guys, birds are stupid.
let me back up. friday morning was my first day of spring break. yay for spring. eggs hatching, trees blossoming, children laughing right? well, yes. those things happen. but also, nature decides to be on excessive doses of happy pills. every creature with vocal systems wants to proclaim very loudly that it is in fact spring and they are in fact awake. which is fine.. except at 7:00 in the morn.
Friday morning i woke up to loud chirping. i rubbed my tired, insomniatic eyes and sought out the source of previously mentioned noise. my window is located directly above my bed. this has not been a problem of significant disturbance until now. a plump sparrow had positioned its battle station inches from my head. it was chirping at it's reflection. it was strutting its feathers seductively and prouncing around like a boss. yes everyone, this sparrow was trying to mate with its reflection. (conceited? yes.) the realization of the potential emotional and mental trauma that could be inflicted, raced through my head. i watched the bird in silent horror, drawing up a game plan.
my first action: chirp back. i tried to chirp in the tone that would give off the "not interested" impression. but this determined little soul of a bird would not back down from his happily ever after. i proceeded to tap, press my face against the glass, scream, and other things that would scare a usual bird. but no. i decided to give up and go about my daily activities.
hours later i returned. the sparrow was still trying faithfully to win his dream girl. as i sat watching, another sparrow, of a more in shape variety, flew into obese sparrow's territory. to my digust, it too was trying to win the reflection. obese sparrow got a little power hungry (get it? hungry...) and straight up ghetto stomped skinny sparrow into the roof. well tried.
this is the ONLY thing that still made me want to be a bird: epic mid-air battles. we've all seen them. we've all secretly wished we could have one.
i was enthrolled in the dramatic fight. i watched them chase eachother around my property, suddenly disappearing and reappearing behind trees and houses. and then... they were gone.
my life had turned meaningless. i was intensely bored. and depressed. i want my sparrow soap opera back. so what did i do??
i chirped.
yes, i took of the indentity of the hot reflected sparrow and chirped for my warriors to return.
but it did not happen. and i started to worry. i knew obese sparrow couldnt last much longer. so i decided to lure them back. but how? what do birds like? well there was an obvious and inconveinent lack of worms in my room so that was out of the question. but then, i realized: birds like to sing! so began playing my sparrow friends music to invite them to return and duke it out over my window.
i started out pretty strong. thinking that some pumpin rap would attract them.
but B.O.B did not work his magic. i thought that might be a little too intense so i took it down a notch. whenever im in a pissy mood, i turn on my man michael buble. i love me some michael buble.
then it came to me.
yes i began singing. after 3 mintues of me singing jack johnson, my obese sparrow came back! it looked triumphant and determined as ever. skinny sparrow has yet to show himself. i do not care to know what happened to him.
i think this is the universe telling me that me and jack johnson should record together.
but anyways obese sparrow has been there for two days now. hopefully he doesnt get too physical with his attempts to woo my window. i'll keep everyone posted.
but anyways obese sparrow has been there for two days now. hopefully he doesnt get too physical with his attempts to woo my window. i'll keep everyone posted.
word of the blog time!!! you thought i forgot didnt you??
todays word of the blog: "Salubrious" (sa-loo-bree-ussss) : giving health/ good for one's health.
- " Wathing sparrows fight over a window is significantly salubrious"
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Fulminate!!!! ..it'll make more sense later.... maybe.
there are so many things in my head right now. ahhh i feel like i'm going to explode.
first of all, i've made a decision. ready? it might change your life. probably not. but it could.
guys, i've been contemplating life again, as i often do. i decided that if i want to get spectacularly rich and famous off this blog, i should start posting things slightly more beneficial to other humans. i've been extremely selfish, i apologize.
so to be ridiculously helpful and conscientious of other people's needs, i am going to make a legit segment called, "word of the...blog" yes. kinda like the ever-helpful "word of the day" but not. because i don't post everyday and that would just be confusing to everyone involved. k ready? Exciting.
"word of the...blog" : Fulminate (Fuhl'..min' eight)- to issue a thunderous verbal attack. "the human fulminated against the cat's decision to exist." :)
use it today, i dare you.
im kinda hyper right now, so im just gonna go with it. :)))
ok story time: once upon a time, in a little school down the road, (yes, i did once receive real public education) there was a second grade girl. this youngin was very serious about her education. she was aspiring to be a Veterinarian/ Princess, and was taking all the necessary steps to fulfill her life goals. one day, her teacher woke up and decided that it would be a good day to confuse the minds of innocent 7 yr olds. she put her plan into mischievous action. after an metally exhausting and agonizing lesson of long division, she called the class to attention and made her way over to the bookshelf. she spoke these words, "class, today we are going to learn about the wonders of the thesaurus."
the first thought that pulsed through our minds was, of course, "heck yes! Dinosaurs!" and we imagined all the possible unfortunate looking combinations of dinosaur that would make up the super cool thesaurus. finally the day was looking promising. but, no. she instead selected a huge book off the shelf that was not in fact about dinosaurs, but words. basically, a big fat book of disappointment. the mood turned solemn and gloomy. our fragile hopes of entertainment were devastated. this lesson evolved into an hour long lecture, filled with confusion, psychological deterioration, and sadness. ever since, we all shared a common hatred and distaste for this literary device.( sidenote: i think its funny thats there's no point in printing anymore of them because theyre now automatically imbedded into microsoft word. haha)
but today, i decided to make amends.
i went to my library at school, on a determined mission to appreciate thesauruses again, and forgive them for the mental torture that they had knowingly inflicted. i started with something small. "awesome."
the thesaurus once again, significantly disappointed.
listed as one of the "synonyms" for awesome. was... "hairy."
hairy? oh thesaurus. you will never be nearly as relevant or cool as a dinosaur.
unsuccessful day all in all, i suppose.
or was it?? :)
first of all, i've made a decision. ready? it might change your life. probably not. but it could.
guys, i've been contemplating life again, as i often do. i decided that if i want to get spectacularly rich and famous off this blog, i should start posting things slightly more beneficial to other humans. i've been extremely selfish, i apologize.
so to be ridiculously helpful and conscientious of other people's needs, i am going to make a legit segment called, "word of the...blog" yes. kinda like the ever-helpful "word of the day" but not. because i don't post everyday and that would just be confusing to everyone involved. k ready? Exciting.
"word of the...blog" : Fulminate (Fuhl'..min' eight)- to issue a thunderous verbal attack. "the human fulminated against the cat's decision to exist." :)
use it today, i dare you.
im kinda hyper right now, so im just gonna go with it. :)))
ok story time: once upon a time, in a little school down the road, (yes, i did once receive real public education) there was a second grade girl. this youngin was very serious about her education. she was aspiring to be a Veterinarian/ Princess, and was taking all the necessary steps to fulfill her life goals. one day, her teacher woke up and decided that it would be a good day to confuse the minds of innocent 7 yr olds. she put her plan into mischievous action. after an metally exhausting and agonizing lesson of long division, she called the class to attention and made her way over to the bookshelf. she spoke these words, "class, today we are going to learn about the wonders of the thesaurus."
the first thought that pulsed through our minds was, of course, "heck yes! Dinosaurs!" and we imagined all the possible unfortunate looking combinations of dinosaur that would make up the super cool thesaurus. finally the day was looking promising. but, no. she instead selected a huge book off the shelf that was not in fact about dinosaurs, but words. basically, a big fat book of disappointment. the mood turned solemn and gloomy. our fragile hopes of entertainment were devastated. this lesson evolved into an hour long lecture, filled with confusion, psychological deterioration, and sadness. ever since, we all shared a common hatred and distaste for this literary device.( sidenote: i think its funny thats there's no point in printing anymore of them because theyre now automatically imbedded into microsoft word. haha)
but today, i decided to make amends.
i went to my library at school, on a determined mission to appreciate thesauruses again, and forgive them for the mental torture that they had knowingly inflicted. i started with something small. "awesome."
the thesaurus once again, significantly disappointed.
listed as one of the "synonyms" for awesome. was... "hairy."
hairy? oh thesaurus. you will never be nearly as relevant or cool as a dinosaur.
unsuccessful day all in all, i suppose.
or was it?? :)
Saturday, March 26, 2011
the day i decided im gonna be a grown up.
greetings. thats what you say when your formally greeting someone like we adults often do. :)
haha.
NO. today was unsuccessful.
i woke up around 8. good start, birds singing, things were beginning to look productive. i was laying in bed, my thoughts freely embellished by my own imagination, when i recieved an epiphany: today im gonna do grown up stuff. and it will be awesome.
my start? an athletic jog. because grown ups care about stuff like blood pressure and cholesterol and working off the 5 thumbprints cookies they may or may not have inhaled the night before.
so i departed at around 8:30 into the crisp morning air. it started great. fellow adult passerbys gave me encouraging looks and nature itself seemed to be cheering me on. but then, my lack of focus on the task at hand caused me to let my mind wander into sweet oblivion. i promptly convinced myself that i was going to be devoured by wild dogs of prey. terrified i cautiously continued my jog without my earphones in, so that i could hear an attacker if one presented itself. childhood paranoia set in and i soon found myself running wildly and desperately from what turned out to be a bunny.
it was running away from me... i admitted to myself that i had failed miserably at my first adult task. but, the day was young.
i returned home at 10:00. i trotted upstairs to my room and plopped myself down on my bed. what else could i do that was adulty? mature? sexy-sophisticated?
i settled on yoga.
yoga? how is that a smart choice for someone who does not posess the required elasticity for such an activity? but it seemed logical. so i turned on the closest thing to soothing indian music i could find (nora jones) and flipped open to some yoga poses in a magazine i had randomly there in my room.
first one. "peeking crane?" i felt so cool.
but then i attempted it. this was some next-level shiz. my arms and legs were twisted into a painful and akward cornicopia of limbs.
needless to say, my version contrasted sharply to the desired result. determined, i found a pose (at the end) that i could do! i was totally psyched. i enthusiastically searched for the name of my newly mastered pose so that i could share with everyone how awesome i am .and my eyes settled on the words:
CHILD'S POSE
my head hung in despair. i had again failed grownuphood.
did this stop me? pshhh ofcourse not! i dont give up...easily.
i reasoned that grownups like to clean things. so i got into a crazed organizing mood. i began to clean my entire room floor to ceiling. which was working out awesome! until i decided i wanted a lamp.
lampsssss.
i selected the lamp from my old room. that meant taking the lamp shade off and transporting the pieces seperately to my room. simple enough? you'd think so. but no. because "ridin solo" came on my ipod. jason derulo's intoxicating voice floated to my ears. soon enough i found myself (im not proud of this) dancing in the mirror with the lamp shade as a hat and the lamp post thingy as a microphone. i got pretty into it. i was a friggin rockstar and it was awesome. but then the song ended. i was left, microphone in hand, staring at my shaded face in the mirror. i smelled like dust and failure. :(
this event caused me to implode into the realization that i am not cut out for adulthood.
but guys. things turned out ok. because something happened....my mom came upstairs.
mom: you have two minutes to look presentable. we're going to the church broadcast.
me: whhhaaat?? momm noooo pleaaase dont make me gooo! i dont wannnaaa!!!
mom: stop. your going.
me: nooo but imm not feeling gooood anddd i donnt wanna please nooooo!!
mom:.... im in the car.
me: ahhhhhhhhh!
to get back at her in the most childish way possible i decided to look awful so she'd be embarassed to be seen with me.
i did not feel inclined to put on a dress. so i stayed in my lime green sports bra and spanks. haha but to avoid shameful looks from everyone involved, i put on an attractive trench coat and my sexy boots. no one suspected anything. well, other than i need to take a shower and learn how to apply lipstick.
happy ending. :) childish ways are my ways and i am awesome at them.
haha.
NO. today was unsuccessful.
i woke up around 8. good start, birds singing, things were beginning to look productive. i was laying in bed, my thoughts freely embellished by my own imagination, when i recieved an epiphany: today im gonna do grown up stuff. and it will be awesome.
my start? an athletic jog. because grown ups care about stuff like blood pressure and cholesterol and working off the 5 thumbprints cookies they may or may not have inhaled the night before.
so i departed at around 8:30 into the crisp morning air. it started great. fellow adult passerbys gave me encouraging looks and nature itself seemed to be cheering me on. but then, my lack of focus on the task at hand caused me to let my mind wander into sweet oblivion. i promptly convinced myself that i was going to be devoured by wild dogs of prey. terrified i cautiously continued my jog without my earphones in, so that i could hear an attacker if one presented itself. childhood paranoia set in and i soon found myself running wildly and desperately from what turned out to be a bunny.
it was running away from me... i admitted to myself that i had failed miserably at my first adult task. but, the day was young.
i returned home at 10:00. i trotted upstairs to my room and plopped myself down on my bed. what else could i do that was adulty? mature? sexy-sophisticated?
i settled on yoga.
yoga? how is that a smart choice for someone who does not posess the required elasticity for such an activity? but it seemed logical. so i turned on the closest thing to soothing indian music i could find (nora jones) and flipped open to some yoga poses in a magazine i had randomly there in my room.
first one. "peeking crane?" i felt so cool.
but then i attempted it. this was some next-level shiz. my arms and legs were twisted into a painful and akward cornicopia of limbs.
needless to say, my version contrasted sharply to the desired result. determined, i found a pose (at the end) that i could do! i was totally psyched. i enthusiastically searched for the name of my newly mastered pose so that i could share with everyone how awesome i am .and my eyes settled on the words:
CHILD'S POSE
my head hung in despair. i had again failed grownuphood.
did this stop me? pshhh ofcourse not! i dont give up...easily.
i reasoned that grownups like to clean things. so i got into a crazed organizing mood. i began to clean my entire room floor to ceiling. which was working out awesome! until i decided i wanted a lamp.
lampsssss.
i selected the lamp from my old room. that meant taking the lamp shade off and transporting the pieces seperately to my room. simple enough? you'd think so. but no. because "ridin solo" came on my ipod. jason derulo's intoxicating voice floated to my ears. soon enough i found myself (im not proud of this) dancing in the mirror with the lamp shade as a hat and the lamp post thingy as a microphone. i got pretty into it. i was a friggin rockstar and it was awesome. but then the song ended. i was left, microphone in hand, staring at my shaded face in the mirror. i smelled like dust and failure. :(
this event caused me to implode into the realization that i am not cut out for adulthood.
but guys. things turned out ok. because something happened....my mom came upstairs.
mom: you have two minutes to look presentable. we're going to the church broadcast.
me: whhhaaat?? momm noooo pleaaase dont make me gooo! i dont wannnaaa!!!
mom: stop. your going.
me: nooo but imm not feeling gooood anddd i donnt wanna please nooooo!!
mom:.... im in the car.
me: ahhhhhhhhh!
to get back at her in the most childish way possible i decided to look awful so she'd be embarassed to be seen with me.
i did not feel inclined to put on a dress. so i stayed in my lime green sports bra and spanks. haha but to avoid shameful looks from everyone involved, i put on an attractive trench coat and my sexy boots. no one suspected anything. well, other than i need to take a shower and learn how to apply lipstick.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
sneaky sleep hate spiral.
usually, im a pretty freaking awesome-responsible-self sufficient human who can play the piano with my feet and lots of other notable shiz. i get up exactly 10 minutes before my 6:00 seminary class. somehow hop outta bed and pull myself together with exactly 45 seconds to spare
. but today, my awesomeness deteriorated. :( and the sneaky sleep hate spiral set in.
its what i call your progression through the phases of complete physical and mental exhaustion.
phase one: realization that today you are going to be completely drained.
i woke up 3 minutes before 6. USUALLY no big deal for someone as hauntingly awesome as me. but basically it was the most dramatic and intense moments of my life. it was like in those gory, nasty, but still wicked awesome movies where the hot soldier guy is bleeding from 36 different places and is still trying to crawl underneath the tank and he gets shot again and your like "oh snap. thats it. i can see his skull. thats gottttaa beeee itttt!" but he KEEPS GOING. and you cant help but feel bad for the poor soul who thinks he's gonna be successful in flee-crawling from friggin vietnam. i sunk outta bed and almost cried as i looked in the mirror and discovered that even in the dark i look like i couldve been smeagle in a different life.
phase two: optimistic denial.
i decided to proceed with existence. "ill wake up like i usually do and have a tony the tiger friggin grrrrrreat day."
so i go to my class. expecting my eventual loss of tiredness. buttttt i dont really remember anything except for we got out 5 minutes late and that made me go into a stifled mad fit of internal rage.
being homeschooled rocks. i get to sleep. but not on tuesdays. tuesdays drain almost all my awesome. i have to go to classes all day. that is the worst thing to do when your not ready for life. amazingly, i succeeded in hiding my exhaustion from my mom so she'd let me drive to school. cause when your 15, you'd drop kick a kitten to be able to drive. or at least you'd put you, your mom, your best friend and the citizens of bakersfield in significant danger.
phase three. crap :(
there is little or no way around it. your just a helpless passenger in your pathetic and senseless body.
i get to school and i moved on throughout the day, pathetically adhering to my social and educational obligations. luckily first period is with eden. she let me lay on her. (people are used to it by now). 2nd period is study hall. by the end, my face had the stupid imprint of the table. tables are flat. i dont know what phenomena made that possible.
phase four: i. am. going. to. die.
exhaustion begins to exceed your capacity for rational thought. 3rd period... i was starting to feel the effects of running like 18 miles yesterday. my teacher asked me what was up. i told him i have an sleeping disorder and an ebola and im about to explode and implode at the same time and turn into a sleep deprived smeagle. my lack of rational deliverance did not impress. apparently 10th grade history teacher school did not teach sufficient training on how to handle these situations. so he made this face that said, "im not getting paid enough for this and i think that ill go home and take up knitting now." and ignored my teenage dramatics.
by spanish i basically curled up in a pathetic ball of sadness and tried my hardest to escape into jenna dream world. i day dreamed that entire class period. about the most random things in the entire world. i will not go into detail. basically. i was a latina princess sent to free the world from alram clocks and daylight savings. hmmm day dreaming...not as good as night dreaming. but its like tofu. pointless and not as good as meat but hippies and asians do it so why not.
anyways. by the end of the day im in math. dealing with tiredness and intelligent thought is not the easiest thing in the world. my psyche had been significantly penetrated by the butcher knife of tiredness. i pretty much decided that i was gonna become a hermit and a tofu loving vegetarian and live on one of the great lakes so i would never have to look at another number in my whole natural born life.
phase five: ummm... i'd sleep on a hobo.
i get home, my coordinance is questionable, and i finally see a cornicopia of surfaces resembling things that might look more appealing than a desk. you'd think i'd zombie sleep it up. but no. because my mom... made me clean... everything. :( by the time im done i find myself home alone, cold, hungry, lost, and insignificant to the world. i made myself something that looked like water in a bottle with some type of pink powder that self sufficient humans would shake but i just let it sleep at the bottom of the bottle cause i think it looked like it worked hard and deserved it. then, around 5:30 i made my journey to my room. finally.
phase six: ..........
its dots because you dont even care about having a thought. you just crave things pertaining to sleep. and the only thing you can use to describe what happens next is indefinite dots.
my recollection of thoughts as i was completing "mission: get to room", is like this.
stairs. i can do it!!!!
one more....
door. is. closed. didnt see that coming. :(
bed=6ft away and a turn, chair= 4ft away and no complicated turns involved.
chair :)
look at my pink drink... its kinda beautiful.
cloudssssssssss....:) :) :)
i woke up three hours later in an awkward position and my phone balanced rather impressively on my face.
it is now officially 11:11. and im caught up on my sleep. so i dont expect to be returning to night dream world any time soon.
moral: if your gonna stay up till midnight talking on the phone, stalk up on excessive amounts of caffeine. :)
. but today, my awesomeness deteriorated. :( and the sneaky sleep hate spiral set in.
its what i call your progression through the phases of complete physical and mental exhaustion.
phase one: realization that today you are going to be completely drained.
i woke up 3 minutes before 6. USUALLY no big deal for someone as hauntingly awesome as me. but basically it was the most dramatic and intense moments of my life. it was like in those gory, nasty, but still wicked awesome movies where the hot soldier guy is bleeding from 36 different places and is still trying to crawl underneath the tank and he gets shot again and your like "oh snap. thats it. i can see his skull. thats gottttaa beeee itttt!" but he KEEPS GOING. and you cant help but feel bad for the poor soul who thinks he's gonna be successful in flee-crawling from friggin vietnam. i sunk outta bed and almost cried as i looked in the mirror and discovered that even in the dark i look like i couldve been smeagle in a different life.
phase two: optimistic denial.
i decided to proceed with existence. "ill wake up like i usually do and have a tony the tiger friggin grrrrrreat day."
so i go to my class. expecting my eventual loss of tiredness. buttttt i dont really remember anything except for we got out 5 minutes late and that made me go into a stifled mad fit of internal rage.
being homeschooled rocks. i get to sleep. but not on tuesdays. tuesdays drain almost all my awesome. i have to go to classes all day. that is the worst thing to do when your not ready for life. amazingly, i succeeded in hiding my exhaustion from my mom so she'd let me drive to school. cause when your 15, you'd drop kick a kitten to be able to drive. or at least you'd put you, your mom, your best friend and the citizens of bakersfield in significant danger.
phase three. crap :(
there is little or no way around it. your just a helpless passenger in your pathetic and senseless body.
i get to school and i moved on throughout the day, pathetically adhering to my social and educational obligations. luckily first period is with eden. she let me lay on her. (people are used to it by now). 2nd period is study hall. by the end, my face had the stupid imprint of the table. tables are flat. i dont know what phenomena made that possible.
phase four: i. am. going. to. die.
exhaustion begins to exceed your capacity for rational thought. 3rd period... i was starting to feel the effects of running like 18 miles yesterday. my teacher asked me what was up. i told him i have an sleeping disorder and an ebola and im about to explode and implode at the same time and turn into a sleep deprived smeagle. my lack of rational deliverance did not impress. apparently 10th grade history teacher school did not teach sufficient training on how to handle these situations. so he made this face that said, "im not getting paid enough for this and i think that ill go home and take up knitting now." and ignored my teenage dramatics.
by spanish i basically curled up in a pathetic ball of sadness and tried my hardest to escape into jenna dream world. i day dreamed that entire class period. about the most random things in the entire world. i will not go into detail. basically. i was a latina princess sent to free the world from alram clocks and daylight savings. hmmm day dreaming...not as good as night dreaming. but its like tofu. pointless and not as good as meat but hippies and asians do it so why not.
anyways. by the end of the day im in math. dealing with tiredness and intelligent thought is not the easiest thing in the world. my psyche had been significantly penetrated by the butcher knife of tiredness. i pretty much decided that i was gonna become a hermit and a tofu loving vegetarian and live on one of the great lakes so i would never have to look at another number in my whole natural born life.
phase five: ummm... i'd sleep on a hobo.
i get home, my coordinance is questionable, and i finally see a cornicopia of surfaces resembling things that might look more appealing than a desk. you'd think i'd zombie sleep it up. but no. because my mom... made me clean... everything. :( by the time im done i find myself home alone, cold, hungry, lost, and insignificant to the world. i made myself something that looked like water in a bottle with some type of pink powder that self sufficient humans would shake but i just let it sleep at the bottom of the bottle cause i think it looked like it worked hard and deserved it. then, around 5:30 i made my journey to my room. finally.
phase six: ..........
its dots because you dont even care about having a thought. you just crave things pertaining to sleep. and the only thing you can use to describe what happens next is indefinite dots.
my recollection of thoughts as i was completing "mission: get to room", is like this.
stairs. i can do it!!!!
one more....
door. is. closed. didnt see that coming. :(
bed=6ft away and a turn, chair= 4ft away and no complicated turns involved.
chair :)
look at my pink drink... its kinda beautiful.
cloudssssssssss....:) :) :)
i woke up three hours later in an awkward position and my phone balanced rather impressively on my face.
it is now officially 11:11. and im caught up on my sleep. so i dont expect to be returning to night dream world any time soon.
moral: if your gonna stay up till midnight talking on the phone, stalk up on excessive amounts of caffeine. :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
apparently? me and jake can pass for parents. hmmmm...
whats the most awkward part about meeting the family? being mistaken for the son's baby mama. i mean really.. cute, old, slightly intoxicated ladies of bakersfield apparently need to learn to distinguish 15 from 25. just sayin.
can we blame them though? we do make a pretty cute couple. ;)
due to the uncertain lack of security on this blog's privacy, im not gonna spill the details about why last night was amazingness. even though i want to. reeaaallly bad.
grrrr. hints? well okkaayyyy. my 6 blog followers are pretty smart people.
hint one: it was the first time this has ever happened to me. :O i know right? this homeboy has got me doin new and...exciting things after just 3 and a half months. woooooooooo.
hint numero dos: it involves something that every little girl (particularly this one) thinks about for like ever.hint 3: ummmmmmmmmm it was awesome. hehehe
and thats it. :)
uhhh ofcourse everyone in the whole world had to mention the fact that he's leaving in august. thanks, life. that was just awesome.earlier that day was reagans bridal shower. that was fun. one thing you guys may not know about me, is that im a competitve little punk when it comes to insignificant shower games. honestly, i will get LIVID if i dont win allllll the stupid litttle games they make you play. like last time, i went to my bishop's daughter's bridal shower. amongst her closest friends and family, i won the "who knows her best" game. i got some interesting looks....but, i also got some lotion :))
  |
| i win:) |
anyways, for reagan's shower we played the infamous "toilet paper wedding dress" game. :)
i won. :)
guess who got third? reagan. :)) hehehehehe there was only two of us! just kidding. but i did beat her. and i got chocolate.
justa day full of marriage and love and babies. goodnesss... <3
but yeah. that was my saturday, blog.
 |
| Lipstick made of cake. hehe |
:)
Thursday, March 17, 2011
slap bracelets, field hockey, and vegetarians.
ill be honest. the title of this post has little or no significance to the topic. i just wanted to capture people's attention.
i was just thinking about the most breath-takingly pointless things in life and BAM. slap bracelets, field hockey and vegetarianism. what. up.
slap bracelets: has anything good in life ever been prefaced by the word slap? no. to apply, you slap yourself. how is that a good idea?
field hockey: everything is hotter on ice. (hehe)
vegetarians: meat is for the belly. boom. proven by scriptural fact based logic. :)
pointless things...hmmm...
how bout being born in the 95? the unjoys of being 15. i could go on. lets just say, were it not for the legal complications, i'd consider burning my birth certificate to a firey crisp. in my head i imagine me marching down to the hospital, kicking open the swinging doors (ive always wanted to do that) and making a grand quest to find the file of birth where i would demand, at intimidating water gunpoint, that the receptionist (someone intense like matt damon or john stamos) help me find my stupid certificate of birth. once john or matt, totally captivated by my own intensity, hands me the document, i would proceed to destroy it in like 9 different ways. then magically i'd be 16. cause thats just the logical occurance in jenna fantasy world. :)
being 15 tortures my little soul daily. it is the sole reason i am so restricted. i hate being restricted. i hate things with the word "strict" in them. like boa conSTRICTer. or, "jenna you suck at life so consider yourself officially on reSTRICTion." its just not a very peachy root word.
take notes: when my sweet, sweet liberation day comes and i am finally 16, i want a huge amazing cake with 16 obnoxiously large candles on it.
what am i gonna name this blog when im 16? honestly its been really concerning me. :( i want to name it something that will make people look at their lives differently. make them quit smoking? maybe shed a tear or two..who knows? but really.
subject change. lets talk about me. more specifically and entertaining, my eye.
yes, for the past like 8 weeks my left eye has being spazzing out for no apparent reason. this, obviously, concerned me greatly. people are starting to notice, and quite literally, laugh at my face. :( i then decided that i do NOT want to die from uncertain public humiliation and eye twitching sooo i just did some research. apparently lots of humans take eye twitching intensely serious. which is super entertaining to me. :) i typed in "chronic eye twitching death syndromes" on my handy dandy google tab... the following is my own trusty synopsis of what i read on the oddly plentiful eye twitching sites:
i could die.. :(
im being a big baby and i should just calm it down cause my eye is just doing its thing.
i could have minor brain damage, epolepsy or i could be skitzo. hmmm....
caused by: staring at a computer screen for too long... O.o and/ or excessive doses of caffeine. hehe :)
the cure?? "botox injections." haha alrighty then. botox at 15. me and my mom can get mommy/daughter botox sessions. hello, girls night :)
there is an online support group from others suffering from eye twitching complications...yuussss! FINALLY!
imagine my confusion. google is super contridictating.
but my answer came from... a blog. :) this homeboy is a very bored teenager that decided it would be a good idea to name his blog "blog from another demention" really, dude? i do not know what posessed me to click on that. but i did. and it comforted me greatly. because i kid you not, according to Luis, "eye twitching is hawt." thank you, luis.
wish me luck on being 15.9 and dying from eye twitching issues.
i was just thinking about the most breath-takingly pointless things in life and BAM. slap bracelets, field hockey and vegetarianism. what. up.
slap bracelets: has anything good in life ever been prefaced by the word slap? no. to apply, you slap yourself. how is that a good idea?
field hockey: everything is hotter on ice. (hehe)
vegetarians: meat is for the belly. boom. proven by scriptural fact based logic. :)
pointless things...hmmm...
how bout being born in the 95? the unjoys of being 15. i could go on. lets just say, were it not for the legal complications, i'd consider burning my birth certificate to a firey crisp. in my head i imagine me marching down to the hospital, kicking open the swinging doors (ive always wanted to do that) and making a grand quest to find the file of birth where i would demand, at intimidating water gunpoint, that the receptionist (someone intense like matt damon or john stamos) help me find my stupid certificate of birth. once john or matt, totally captivated by my own intensity, hands me the document, i would proceed to destroy it in like 9 different ways. then magically i'd be 16. cause thats just the logical occurance in jenna fantasy world. :)
being 15 tortures my little soul daily. it is the sole reason i am so restricted. i hate being restricted. i hate things with the word "strict" in them. like boa conSTRICTer. or, "jenna you suck at life so consider yourself officially on reSTRICTion." its just not a very peachy root word.
take notes: when my sweet, sweet liberation day comes and i am finally 16, i want a huge amazing cake with 16 obnoxiously large candles on it.
what am i gonna name this blog when im 16? honestly its been really concerning me. :( i want to name it something that will make people look at their lives differently. make them quit smoking? maybe shed a tear or two..who knows? but really.
subject change. lets talk about me. more specifically and entertaining, my eye.
yes, for the past like 8 weeks my left eye has being spazzing out for no apparent reason. this, obviously, concerned me greatly. people are starting to notice, and quite literally, laugh at my face. :( i then decided that i do NOT want to die from uncertain public humiliation and eye twitching sooo i just did some research. apparently lots of humans take eye twitching intensely serious. which is super entertaining to me. :) i typed in "chronic eye twitching death syndromes" on my handy dandy google tab... the following is my own trusty synopsis of what i read on the oddly plentiful eye twitching sites:
i could die.. :(
im being a big baby and i should just calm it down cause my eye is just doing its thing.
i could have minor brain damage, epolepsy or i could be skitzo. hmmm....
caused by: staring at a computer screen for too long... O.o and/ or excessive doses of caffeine. hehe :)
the cure?? "botox injections." haha alrighty then. botox at 15. me and my mom can get mommy/daughter botox sessions. hello, girls night :)
there is an online support group from others suffering from eye twitching complications...yuussss! FINALLY!
imagine my confusion. google is super contridictating.
but my answer came from... a blog. :) this homeboy is a very bored teenager that decided it would be a good idea to name his blog "blog from another demention" really, dude? i do not know what posessed me to click on that. but i did. and it comforted me greatly. because i kid you not, according to Luis, "eye twitching is hawt." thank you, luis.
wish me luck on being 15.9 and dying from eye twitching issues.
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